The Extremely Patriotic Bush Twins
Copyright © 2005-2008 Timothy Horrigan
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For more info and more pics: |
I have a few updates which are available only on the "Jenna Bush Wedding page." To see all the info and the pix, you gotta click through to the other page. The URL for the "Jenna Bush Wedding page." is:
The
Twins at Jenna's
bachelorette party
I have four additional Bush Twins-related pages:
http://www.TimothyHorrigan.com/documents/bushtwins040831.html
http://www.TimothyHorrigan.com/videos/jenna.ellen.071205.html
http://www.TimothyHorrigan.com/documents/laura-bush.080512.html
And please check out my novel The Forgotten Liars:
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For the past few years, Hager has been fighting on the front lines of the War Against Evil as an aide to Karl Rove. Hager was, most noteably, one of the courageous young men and women who toiled beside Lord Rove in the Situation Room of the basement of the White House during the Hurricane Katrina crisis, documenting the errors made by the liberal Democrats in Louisiana. He also served with distinction during the Election of 2004, when the usurper John Kerry and the American people tried and failed to overthrow the Emperor. Hager is currently fighting Marxism by finishing his MBA studies at the University of Virginia's Darden School of Business.
There were some rumors in the summer of 2007 that Jenna and
Henry had broken up. However, her book Ana's
Story: A Journey of Hope Not long after the engagement was announced, Jenna told the story of how Hager popped the question. She told ABC's Diane Sawyer and People Magazine that he woke her up at 4:00am August 15th while they were camping in Acadia National Park in Maine, made her hike up Mount Cadillac against her will and popped the question when they reached the summit at sunrise. It is not coincidental that this is the first place the sun rises each day in the United States.
Princess Jenna was in the news a lot this spring— not because of the wedding, though. Oh no, of course not! Her wedding to Sir Henry Hager was a strictly private affair at her parents' ranch.
No, Jenna was in the news because the Princess and her
mother Empress Laura released a new book entitled Read
All About It!
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In
December 2007, bizarre rumors began circulating that Barbara
would be marrying Mitt Romney. These stories turned out to be
totally misleading. For one thing, the rumor-mongers mixed Barbara up
with her cousin Noelle Bush.
More information on these bizarre rumors!
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You might also want to check out my Jenna Bush Wedding Day page: |
Barbara
and Jenna Bush are two seemingly likeable young ladies with more
money than brains who recently graduated from college.
Barbara is the brunette and Jenna is the blonde. Confusingly, Barbara is the one who doesn't look exactly like her famous grandmother by the same name .
Since graduating from Yale and the University of Texas-Austin (respectively), the Bush Twins have mostly (except when out on the campaign trail) been gallivanting around New York City doing nothing in particular. And that's OK: I gallivanted around New York a fair bit myself when I was their age.
Barbara is the quiet and serious twin, and she was also the one who hit the jackpot in the college-admissions lottery by landing a slot at Yale. Jenna is a boisterous fun-loving blonde, and she went to a school which is significantly farther down the admissions food chain than Yale, but ironically she is the smarter one.
(This would be a good opportunity to plug my book The Forgotten Liars , which draws upon some of my experiences from that stage of life. But I will not be so crass!)
Although Barbara and Jenna have visibly volunteered in previous hurricane relief efforts, as shown in the photo below taken in Florida during the 2004 hurricane season, they did not become visibly involved in the Katrina or Rita recovery efforts.
In 2004, the Twins electrified the nation and the whole world with their address to the 2004 Republican National Convention. This speech— which established them as the exemplars of a new generation of American leaders— was instantly recognized as one of the most historic convention speeches of all time— right up there with William Jennings Bryan's "Cross of Gold Speech" or even Newt Gingrich's "Beach Volleyball Speech."
Through most of 2005, the Twins generally kept a low profile, although Jenna was sighted dirty-dancing with her longtime beau Henry Hager, which is not surprising. More surprisingly, Barbara was spotted with, of all people, Florida Congresswoman (and ultimately unsuccessful Senate candidate) Katherine Harris.
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Barbara turned up in the news shortly after the Fourth of
July, 2005— on the eve of the 2005 G8 Summit. The Boston Globe
published a July
6, 2005 article by John Donnelly revealing that Barbara had been
in Cape Town, South Africa since June, evidently to volunteer at a
world-renowned pediatric hospital, the Red
Cross War Memorial Children's Hospital . Because of security
concerns and because (like her father during the Vietnam War) she
prefers to keep as low a profile as possible when she serves, no one
was willing to go on the record about exactly what it is that she was
doing in Cape Town. But she definitely has been in South Africa— or
possibly Botswana.
Barbara appeared in Torino at the 2006 Winter Olympic ceremonies, accompanied by the First Lady and a very special friend of the First Lady's (an obscure aspiring actor, rumored to be the First Lady's lover, who uses the stage name of "George Clooney.")
This
was the last we heard of Barbara until a brief late
June 2006 Wonkette blog entry to the effect that she was working
in "educational programming" at the Cooper
Hewitt Museum in New York City. Jenna maintained a somewhat
higher profile: she spent the 2005-2006 academic year teaching
school, either in New York or Washington DC depending on which report
you believe, and found plenty of time to party. In the fall of 2006,
she even became the subject of conspiracy theories. She was allegedly
sent to the remote South American republic of Paraguay to negotiate
the Bush family's purchase of a huge ranch which would be her
father's sanctuary after he flees the country to avoid prosecution
for his crimes. The White House actually admitted that she was in
Paraguay, but they claimed she was there to Trick
or Treat for Unicef (or perhaps do something else for Unicef.)
Barbara went back underground for a few months before being
spotted at at a tailgate party in New Haven, in mid-November,
wearing (even though she is a good Republican who does not believe in
Global Warming) a sleeveless summer dress.
In late November 2006, both twins were sighted in Argentina, where they enjoyed a rather bizarre vacation in Buenos Aires. It is not clear exactly what happened, but we do know for certain that one of their Secret Service agents was mugged while cruising the local gay bar district. Even more oddly, a thief managed to steal Barbara's purse and cellphone while they were having dinner. And, in a not overly convincing attempt to dispel rumors that the the US embassy in Buenos Aires had asked the girls to leave the country, the embassy's press office felt compelled to issue a statement that "The Embassy welcomes the visit and has provided close support and cooperation."
We never heard anything more about Jenna's trip to Paraguay, but
her travels to the similarly-named Latin American country of Panama
inspired a book entitled Ana's
Story: A Journey of Hope.
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On August 16, 2007, Jenna announced her engagement to Henry Hager. Hager is a heroic young patriot who supported the war effort by serving as an aide to Karl Rove before recently going back to grad school. He is a young MBA who made a huge sacrifice by serving under Rove. He could have taken a lucrative job as a consultant or banker, but instead he toiled long hours fighting for freedom, making a humble GS-11 salary (barely even $60,000/year.)
If she had chosen to be married at the White House, she would have been the first White House bride since Tricia Nixon. However, she decided to have her wedding at her parents' ranch in Crawford, Texas, on May 10, 2008.
Henry Hager is one of two generations of Hagers who have been serving our Commander-in-Chief. His father is John Henry Hager, a former tobacco lobbyist who until recently served as the Assistant Secretary of Education for Special Education & Rehab Services. He was in charge of (amongst other things) Special Ed testing programs.
After the wedding the couple moved to a row house which Henry bought for $440,000 on the south side of Baltimore, not far from the Baltimore Ravens' stadium. The house's assessed value is $296,780. The exact address is 1345 South Charles Street; Baltimore MD 21230.
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You might also want to check out my Jenna Bush Wedding Day page: |
For
some reason it troubles me that Jenna & Barbara are not in the
service. Their father's war in Iraq has been going on for three years
now (and the 9/11 attacks happened over four years ago.) During these
years, neither Jenna nor Barbara have ever been moved to volunteer
for the military. Over 4,000 members of their generation (and that's
just the official count of US troops only) have lost their lives in
Iraq. (Click
here for the complete list of fallen troops, courtesy of
Icasualties.Org.) Thousands more will be making the ultimate
sacrifice in the next several years, not just in Iraq, but also in
Iran, Afghanistan, and who knows where else. I am sure Jenna and
Barbara are patriots who resolutely and consistently support their
father's quest to impose Dick
Cheney's and General
Betrayus's version of freedom and democracy on the rest of the
world (and to protect our oil supply.) I am sure they do not believe
that the USA should wait for an actual threat before using force to
defend itself. Doubtless, they do not believe in an "international
test" or in asking the UN
's permission before invading other countries.
Perhaps they could show their patriotism by enlisting in the armed forces. Maybe they could emulate their father by joining the Air National Guard. Or, they might consider the Navy , the Marines , the Air Force , or the Army . It's just a thought...
If you have any ideas about how the Bush Twins could best serve their country, please send an email to:
JennaAndBarbara@TimothyHorrigan.com
A
video blogger who calls herself Squizzard1
has posted a YouTube
"plea for the Bush Twins to join their father's noble cause.":
The
picture above is a clickable link, as is this entire sentence.
But you probably are one of those who already figured that out,
since you managed to find your way this far down the page.
Alternatively, you can use the following URL:
Regardless of what Jenna & Barbara decide, their father has at least four more wars planned. Iran, Syria, North Korea, and Venezuela are just four of the many countries whose leaders insist on spewing anti-Bush venom. And Bush II will not sit back and wait till his enemies actually back up their rhetoric with action.
USA! USA! USA! USA!
FOUR MORE WARS! FOUR MORE WARS! FOUR MORE WARS! FOUR MORE WARS!
However,
at least one scion of one famous family has been serving. For several
months in late 2007 and early 2008, Prince Harry (who is third line
to be The King of England) served on the front lines in Afghanistan.
He had a rather dangerous job, as a joint tactical air control
officer for the British army. He was a forward spotter on the front
lines, calling in the coordinates for air strikes (by American as
well as British fighter jets) against the Taliban. It is hard to
imagine the Bush Twins, or even Chelsea Clinton doing anything of the
sort. His mission was supposed to be kept secret till he returned
(hopefully safely), but the Drudge
Report spilled the beans. Here are links to Times
of London articles published February 28 and 29, 2008:
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You might also want to check out my Jenna Bush Wedding Day page: |
The
Twins electrified the nation at the 2004 RNC!
Bush Twin Links:
Interesting September 10, 2001 Houston Chronicle article about Jenna & Barbara's work on the issue of substance abuse. For some unknown reason, the media never followed up on this story!
Text
of their electrifying address before the 2004 Republican
National Convention . (Arguably, this was the greatest
convention speech since William Jennings Bryan's Cross
of Gold speech in 1896.) Click
here to see the video in RealPlayer
format.
Boston.com's "Twinspotting" Page (about their antics during the 2004 RNC.)
July 6, 2005 Boston Globe article about Barbara's mysterious volunteer work in South Africa.
A Letter to the Editor (never published) which I wrote in August 2005 about Bush II, World War II & Gulf War II: the Bush Twins' decision not to serve in Gulf War II does get mentioned.
Their father's very similar November 11, November 14, and November 19, 2005 speeches about the War Against Evil which neither Twin saw in person. Why not? Because the audiences were made up entirely of military personnel— and neither Twin had volunteered to join the military!
Bush II's 2006 State of the Union Speech. Bush II spoke very bluntly about his plans to continue the War Against Evil. He also said: "We're grateful to all who volunteer to wear our nation's uniform — and as we honor our brave troops, let us never forget the sacrifices of America's military families." His own family happens not to be one of those families, because Jenna & Barbara have not yet volunteered to wear our nation's uniform.
Bush II's 2007 State of the Union Speech. A year later, the War Against Evil was still going on and America's military families were still making their sacrifices. However, neither Jenna nor Barbara had volunteered to wear our nation's uniform.
Bush II's 2008 State of the Union Speech. Another year later, the War Against Evil was still going on and America's military families were still making their sacrifices. Jenna and Barbara still hadn't volunteered to wear our nation's uniform, although Jenna has been engaging in non-military public service. They looked on adoringly from the balcony as their father delivered these ringing words at the climax of his address: "Our military families also sacrifice for America. They endure sleepless nights and the daily struggle of providing for children while a loved one is serving far from home. We have a responsibility to provide for them. So I ask you to join me in expanding their access to child care, creating new hiring preferences for military spouses across the federal government, and allowing our troops to transfer their unused education benefits to their spouses or children."
Some useful advice about girls in mini skerts, from IslamHelpLine.org.
August 16. 2007 Washington Post article about Jenna's engagement.
August 17, 2007 Washington Times article about Jenna's engagement
September 17, 2007 RightWingSparkle blog entry: "The Bush Daughters. The Reality Of It." Ms Sparkle is one of those rightwing commentators who spends 98% of her energy whining about them mean ol’ liberals. She was ticked off by an anti-Bush Vanity Fair piece by James Wolcott where he said: "As for the daughters-they've been completely AWOL, utterly useless." After citing Jenna and Barbara's accomplishments, Ms Sparkle goes on to her main point, which is that Chelsea Clinton works for a hedge fund called Avenue Capital (which actually might not be so terrible were it not for the fact that the firm's CEO, Mark Lasry, is a Democrat.)
September 26, 2007 HuffingtonPost.com blog entry about Jenna's engagement
September 29. 2007 Washington Post story: "Jenna's Story: A New Author Steps Forth" by Bob Thompson. Jenna wants to talk about the book, but she answers questions about many other topics— even the War in Iraq. About the war, she says, "Nobody wants war, I definitely, and my father definitely doesn't want war. But it's a horribly complicated situation." She goes on to say, "I can say it's devastating... I think everybody can agree on that." And, even though she is not in the military, she make the point that (unlike her sister) she has been involved in non-military public service as an educator.
October 11, 2007 Time Magazine "Ten Questions" column: Jenna fended off the question of why she and Barbara aren't in the military by stating, "there are many ways to serve our country, and I think my skills are better suited for teaching and representing the U.S. in Latin America through UNICEF. I respect the men and women of our country who are over there fighting. It is an unbelievably selfless thing to do. But if people really thought about it, they would know it's not even a practical question."
December 5, 2007 Ellen Show appearance: Jenna phones
home.
Robert Stacy ("The Other") McCain's blog posting: "Jenna Bush for Bob Barr?": The Other McCain wryly speculates, in the absence of any evidence, that Jenna (who coyly refuses to endorse McCain whenever asked) is in fact voting for Bob Barr. McCain says: "Jenna's always been my favorite Bush twin. She just seems very down-to-earth and fun-loving. Given the trend of each generation of Bushes getting a little more conservative than the last, I figure maybe Jenna's so conservative she can't stomach the open-borders policy supported by her Dad and Crazy Cousin John. And need I remind you that, just like Jenna, Ron Paul is from Texas?"
May 2008 Vogue Magazine article about her wedding and of course the new book!
May 28, 2008 Ellen Show appearance: Jenna offers Ellen DeGeneres & Porta DeRossi the use of the ranch for their upcoming marriage. Jenna also shows some new pictures from her own wedding.
Some other Bush-related pages:
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You might also want to check out my Jenna Bush Wedding Day page: |
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This is the inspirational story of Tyrone, a little boy who is a
math and science whiz (and presumably 
in Annapolis, September 29, 2007. No, this is not 
which she is holding: it is her own book. And yes, 
