Copyright © 2008 Timothy Horrigan
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I do feel the need to pass this little item on, in the
meantime. It sounds like a joke but it was true. Jenna Bush (now
known as "Jenna Hager") did indeed offer Ellen Degenres the
use of her parent's ranch for her upcoming nuptials. This happened
on May 22, 2008 during the taping for the May
28 edition of the "Ellen Show" The media (and myself) have
been jumping all over the marriage angle of this appearance, even
though the main reason Jenna and her mom were on the show was to
promote their new blockbuster children's book, the instant classic
Read
All About It! Ellen has announced that she will be marrying her girlfriend Porta DeRossi, now that gay marriage is legal in California (though not Texas.).
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These are all official White House photos (although I tweaked the color settings, etc.) There are unlikely to be any unofficial photos because all cellphones and cameras were confiscated before the guests were allowed to go to the events. The guests were family and friends: the highest ranking politicians (aside from the two President George Bushes) were Jenna's Uncle Jeb and Henry's mentor Lord Karl Rove. The officiant at the lakeside ceremony (held in fromt of a spooky limestone cross) was a Black minister from Houston named Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell, who is an old family friend. I will be gradually editing the page over the next few days to reflect the fact that the wedding did in fact happen as planned. There were nasty thunderstorms and tornadoes all over the south central U.S. on May 10, 2008, but they missed Crawford, Texas. |
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See also:
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oops, my bad, wrong busses... |
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these are the right busses!
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At least two blogs have used wedding-related material they scrounged up rom my site, which is cool.
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[May
10, 2008; 10:30pm EDT] So far the official picture has apparently not
been released. We do know a few details, however. The ceremony was
performed by a longtime Bush family friend, Rev.
Kirbyjon H. Caldwell of the Windsor
Village United Methodist Church in Houston— who
ironically is a Barack
Obama supporter. The father-daughter dance at the
reception was the old Joe Cocker song "You Are So Beautiful"
performed by the Tyrone
Smith Revue. The couples first dance was Taj Mahal's "Lovin'
in My Baby's Eyes. " ("Super T" heads a wedding band
with a 70s funk and blues flavor to it.) And we know the weather was
fine in Crawford, even though there were severe thunderstorms not far
away in the Temple area (which is where most of the guests are
staying.) The ceremony was performed in front of a limestone altar
with a attached three-ton cross which Bush
II designed himself. No word on whether he
and Lord Chamberlain Cheney will be using it for any ceremonials of a
somewhat more esoteric nature at some point in the future. The
reception was held under tents set up for the occasion.
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Sir Henry (as he now known) was, most noteably, one of the courageous young men and women who toiled beside Lord Rove in the Situation Room of the basement of the White House during the Hurricane Katrina crisis, documenting the errors made by the liberal Democrats in Louisiana. He also served with distinction during the Election of 2004, when the usurper John Kerry and the American people tried and failed to overthrow the Emperor. Hager is currently fighting Marxism by finishing his MBA studies at the University of Virginia's Darden School of Business. He will take the title of Duke of Baltimore on his wedding day, and his father John Henry Hager will become the Duke of Richmond. The elder Henry Hager is a former tobacco executive who until recently served as the Assistant Secretary of Education for Special Education & Rehab Services. He was in charge of (amongst other things) Special Ed testing programs. Not long after the engagement was announced, Jenna told the story of how Hager popped the question. She told ABC's Diane Sawyer and People Magazine that he woke her up at 4:00am August 15th while they were camping in Acadia National Park in Maine, made her hike up Mount Cadillac against her will and popped the question when they reached the summit at sunrise. It is not coincidental that this is the first place the sun rises each day in the United States.
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Jenna's wedding date came at a time when Emperor Bush's subjects are short of bread (in every sense of the word "bread") and she has refused to put on a circus (although the security precautions— and the wedding itself— will be highly expensive.) It will in fact be a wedding of the sort which Liberal Democrats tend to favor: strenuously casual, held at an gratuitously inconvenient venue (the President's ranch is in a remote area of South Central Texas and the Princess in fact actually grew up in Austin), and it will be linked to irrelevant causes (in this case, wildflowers and literacy) which are supposed to be of special significance to the couple.
The literacy may seem ironic because the Emperor is a man of limited book learnin'— but the Princess and the Empress are both elementary reading teachers.
The wildflowers are the theme of the wedding. Apparently, Empress Laura has been keeping herself busy all these years by planting wildflowers on the ranch in Crawford. The dresses for the "house party" (i..e., what folks in the other 49 states would refer to as the "bridesmaids") are also wildflower-colored. (In Texas, the "bridesmaid" is what non-Texans would refer to by the term "maid of honor." Jenna's bridesmaid will be the other twin, Barbara.) The designer Lela Rose released the following sketch of some of the house party dresses:
Jenna's wedding gown is known to be by Oscar de la Renta, but it is being safeguarded by Lord Chamberlain Cheney in an undisclosed location.
The wedding will supposedly take place off camera, and will be a relatively casual outdoor affair, held in the early evening to protect the 200 or so guests from the Texas sun (which gets hot even though the Emperor does not believe in Global Warming.) At least one photo will be officially released, and I will doubtless post it (or them) here somewhere. The ranch is seven miles from the tiny town of Crawford, and few if any guests will in fact see the town itself.
The rehearsal dinner actually and other pre-wedding day celebrations actually took place over 50 miles away in the pre-Civil War town of Salado,Texas at the Stagecoach Inn:
May 10 Associated Press story, beginning "So close and yet so far: Tiny Crawford is sort of like a bridesmaid at arm's length from Jenna Bush's wedding Saturday."
The Princess is ostensibly a deeply private
person: however, she has been crisscrossing the country for the past
year promoting her own book Ana's
Story: A Journey of Hope
After the wedding Jenna & Henry will be moving to a row house which Henry bought for $440,000 on the south side of Baltimore, not far from the Baltimore Ravens' stadium which is currently known as " M&T Bank Stadium ". The house's assessed value is $296,780. The exact address is 1345 South Charles Street; Baltimore MD 21230.
Here are a few pictures which have surfaced from the preparations for the wedding:
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You might also want to check out my main Bush Twins page: |
Although the liberal media like to paint young Republicans as stodgy and unfashionable. Henry and Jenna are way more hip than that boring old Chelsea Clinton— as proven by these next two pictures.
Here is Sir Henry in Boston with his ex-boss Lord Rove and other friends. The red Speedos represent the fact that the Republicans aren't counting any state as being "Blue"— not even the Bluest of all states, Massachusetts.
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And here is Jenna with her close friend John Waters, the film-maker and author who is now her neighbor in Baltimore:
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More to come later...
See also:
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You might also want to check out my main Bush Twins page: |
[May 8, 2008] I have created a separate page (this page, duh!)
about Jenna Bush's wedding to Henry Chase Hager, on May 10, 2008,
even though I am not entirely why I should bother. I am hoping
for a lot of traffic, even though the spike I got on the day they
(somewhat unexpectedly) announced their engagement was not too
profitable, I got thousands of hits (the various mechanisms I
have for tracking the number of hits gave me various numbers ranging
from about 5,000 to over 30,000 and the logfile was over 57 Megabytes
long) but very few paying clicks. I only made $2.58 from my
various pay-per-click and affilate ads, I made no Amazon.com
Initially, the subject matter was much the same on this page as on my main page, but that should change over time. I couldn't just move it all from the main page, because then hardly anyone would see it.
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