Jenna Bush's Wedding Day

Copyright © 2008-2009 Timothy Horrigan



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Extra! [May 28, 2008] I promised back on May 11 that I would be revising this page "in the next few days" to reflect the fact that Jenna Bush's upcoming wedding is now no longer upcoming. And I haven't gotten around to it yet. Sorry.

I do feel the need to pass this little item on, in the meantime. It sounds like a joke but it was true. Jenna Bush (now known as "Jenna Hager") did indeed offer Ellen Degenres the use of her parent's ranch for her upcoming nuptials. This happened on May 22, 2008 during the taping for the May 28 edition of the "Ellen Show" The media (and myself) have been jumping all over the marriage angle of this appearance, even though the main reason Jenna and her mom were on the show was to promote their new blockbuster children's book, the instant classic Read All About It!

Ellen has announced that she will be marrying her girlfriend Portia DeRossi, now that gay marriage is legal in California (though not Texas.).

Extra! [December 5, 2008] I don't feel like taking this page down altogether—not yet, at least— but I don't feel like updating it either. I will say, however, that happily Ellen & Portia did manage to get married in August 2008, but sadly gay marriage is illegal in California again, thanks to Proposition 8.

Ellen DeGeneres with Porta DeRossi

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Extra!  [May 11, 2008; 6:00 p.m. EDT] They did it: Jenna Bush & Henry Hager got married! Several pictures were released the afternoon after their wedding. Here are my favorites from the released pictures. I was slow putting them up, but I have a good excuse, it was Mother's Day and I visited my mother after going to a Mother's Day peace vigil.

These are all official White House photos (although I tweaked the color settings, etc.) There are unlikely to be any unofficial photos because all cellphones and cameras were confiscated before the guests were allowed to go to the events. The guests were family and friends: the highest ranking politicians (aside from the two President George Bushes) were Jenna's Uncle Jeb and Henry's mentor Lord Karl Rove. The officiant at the lakeside ceremony (held in fromt of a spooky limestone cross) was a Black minister from Houston named Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell, who is an old family friend.

I will be gradually editing the page over the next few days to reflect the fact that the wedding did in fact happen as planned. There were nasty thunderstorms and tornadoes all over the south central U.S. on May 10, 2008, but they missed Crawford, Texas.

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The bride in her Oscar de la Renta wedding gown. The pre-wedding news reports invariably described the gown as "highly structured." It doesn't seem all that structured to me, although I am sure the undergarments were elaborate. A lovely gown for a lovely bride. (Hey! It's not her fault her father is the worst President in American history.)


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No caption needed. You know who these people are.

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The point of no return.

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The Bush Family

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The newlyweds and their parents.

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The sun sets on the Bush Regime, but it rises for the couple's life together.

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Cutting the cake which is leaning slightly to the right (or is it to the left? It is leaning to the bride and groom's left.)

See also:






Extra! [May 11, 2008; 10:30pm EDT] Still no sign of the official pix. And no new news. (My web site got at least 600 extra hits yesterday, probably about 1000, by the way. It's surprisingly hard to count web hits exactly.) I did manage to scrounge up some pictures of the busses which took the guests to the ceremony...

Busses taking FLDS polygamist wives and children to detention camp

oops, my bad, wrong busses...

these are the right busses!

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At least two blogs have used wedding-related material they scrounged up from my site, which is cool.




Extra! [May 10, 2008; 10:30pm EDT] So far the official picture has apparently not been released. We do know a few details, however. The ceremony was performed by a longtime Bush family friend, Rev. Kirbyjon H. Caldwell of the Windsor Village United Methodist Church in Houston— who ironically is a Barack Obama supporter. The father-daughter dance at the reception was the old Joe Cocker song "You Are So Beautiful" performed by the Tyrone Smith Revue. The couples first dance was Taj Mahal's "Lovin' in My Baby's Eyes. " ("Super T" heads a wedding band with a 70s funk and blues flavor to it.) And we know the weather was fine in Crawford, even though there were severe thunderstorms not far away in the Temple area (which is where most of the guests are staying.) The ceremony was performed in front of a limestone altar with a attached three-ton cross which Bush II designed himself. No word on whether he and Lord Chamberlain Cheney will be using it for any ceremonials of a somewhat more esoteric nature at some point in the future. The reception was held under tents set up for the occasion.


Yahoo! Personals


Jenna's wedding date came at a time when Emperor Bush's subjects are short of bread (in every sense of the word "bread") and she has refused to put on a circus (although the security precautions— and the wedding itself— will be highly expensive.) It will in fact be a wedding of the sort which Liberal Democrats tend to favor: strenuously casual, held at an gratuitously inconvenient venue (the President's ranch is in a remote area of South Central Texas and the Princess in fact actually grew up in Austin), and it will be linked to irrelevant causes (in this case, wildflowers and literacy) which are supposed to be of special significance to the couple.

The literacy may seem ironic because the Emperor is a man of limited book learnin'— but the Princess and the Empress are both elementary reading teachers.

The wildflowers are the theme of the wedding. Apparently, Empress Laura has been keeping herself busy all these years by planting wildflowers on the ranch in Crawford. The dresses for the "house party" (i..e., what folks in the other 49 states would refer to as the "bridesmaids") are also wildflower-colored. (In Texas, the "bridesmaid" is what non-Texans would refer to by the term "maid of honor." Jenna's bridesmaid will be the other twin, Barbara.) The designer Lela Rose released the following sketch of some of the house party dresses:

Jenna's wedding gown is known to be by Oscar de la Renta, but it is being safeguarded by Lord Chamberlain Cheney in an undisclosed location.

The wedding will supposedly take place off camera, and will be a relatively casual outdoor affair, held in the early evening to protect the 200 or so guests from the Texas sun (which gets hot even though the Emperor does not believe in Global Warming.) At least one photo will be officially released, and I will doubtless post it (or them) here somewhere. The ranch is seven miles from the tiny town of Crawford, and few if any guests will in fact see the town itself.

The rehearsal dinner actually and other pre-wedding day celebrations actually took place over 50 miles away in the pre-Civil War town of Salado,Texas at the Stagecoach Inn:

The Princess is ostensibly a deeply private person: however, she has been crisscrossing the country for the past year promoting her own book Ana's Story: A Journey of Hope and a picture book she did with Empress Laura, Read All About It!

       

After the wedding Jenna & Henry will be moving to a row house which Henry bought for $440,000 on the south side of Baltimore, not far from the Baltimore Ravens' stadium which is currently known as " M&T Bank Stadium ". The house's assessed value is $296,780. The exact address is 1345 South Charles Street; Baltimore MD 21230.






Here are a few pictures which have surfaced from the preparations for the wedding:

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Barbara, Jenna and Henry hurrying to a party; Austin, April 26, 2008.

The Bush Twins at Jenna's bachelorette party

Barbara and Jenna at Jenna's bachelorette party; Austin, May 7, 2008

Jenna Bush & Henry Hager at a baseball game, shortly before their marriage

Jenna sharing a quiet moment with Henry at a Round Rock Express baseball game (just outside Austin); May 6, 2008


Emperor Bush II practices on the South Lawn of the White House for his Walk Down the Aisle; May 9, 2008






Jenna and Barbara and Jenna's hen party

You might also want to check out my main Bush Twins page:



Although the liberal media like to paint young Republicans as stodgy and unfashionable. Henry and Jenna are way more hip than that boring old Chelsea Clinton— as proven by these next two pictures.

Here is Sir Henry in Boston with his ex-boss Lord Rove and other friends. The red Speedos represent the fact that the Republicans aren't counting any state as being "Blue"— not even the Bluest of all states, Massachusetts.

Karl Rove and Henry Hager in red Speedos
Henry Hager, Karl Rove & friends in Boston; December 2007. Even though they are wearing Speedos outdoors in the winter, that does not mean they believe in Global Warming!



And here is Jenna with her close friend John Waters, the film-maker and author who is now her neighbor in Baltimore:

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Jenna with John Waters;April 1, 2008


         


Jenna Hager dancing with Henry Hager


Extra! In December 2007, bizarre rumors circulated that Barbara would be marrying Mitt Romney. These stories turned out to be totally misleading. For one thing, the rumor-mongers mixed Barbara up with her cousin Noelle Bush.

See also:





Jenna and Barbara and Jenna's hen party

You might also want to check out my main Bush Twins page:


Extra!  [May 8, 2008] I have created a separate page (this page, duh!) about Jenna Bush's wedding to Henry Chase Hager, on May 10, 2008, even though I am not entirely why I should bother. The first week of May I got a lot of hits, thanks to the wedding and to the hype for the book Read All About It! I got over 2,500 hits that week with no— "no" as in zero, nada, bupkus, rien, not even one, not any, ningún, zilch— Adsense clickthroughs, and only a handful of clickthroughs to the various other pages on my web site, although a few folks did click on links to news stories, etc.




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