Loudon Blues #1
One
night,
I found myself on the web site
which claimed to have
autopsy photos of various dead NASCAR drivers
and it did
this
was the web site Teresa Earnhardt fought to shut down
I only
saw the thumbnails
I did't pay for the full-sized pictures
I
recognized Dale Earnhardt and Neil Bonnett
Adam Petty and Kenny
Irwin's pictures were not there
Earnhardt and Bonnett didn't
look dead
their color was good
they weren't bruised or
disfigured
they didn't even look like they were in pain
they
didn't look much worse
than any other driver looks
at the end
of a long race
Bonnett just looked tired
Earnhardt
looked cheerful
he was half-smiling
he looked like he had
gotten a joke
which no one else was getting
Loudon Blues #47
when
I see you
I feel the same way I feel
when I stand by the yellow
line
the cars zoom by,
just a few feet away,
just on the
other side of the catchfence
I can smell the racing fuel
I
can feel the ground shaking
I can even tell that some cars
are
running especially good
or especially bad
but I really
can't see what is happening
I can only tell who's leading by
looking at the leader board---
the leader board is a long way
away
and it is not that easy to read
and it only shows the top
ten car numbers
a PA system blares announcements
and I
really can't hear what the announcers are saying
that's how I
feel
when I see you
Loudon Blues #100
it's
stressful when things end
it's stressful when they begin
it's
even more stressful
when one thing ends while another begins
but
I don't believe that the pain of one thing ending
should dissuade
you from enjoying the joy
of the other thing beginning
it's
all garbage anyway
none of it is real
so throw it all away
put
it in a bag and throw it away!
we are all unreal
we are all
garbage
the goddess is the only person here who is real
she
is the only one of us who really exists
she's the only one who is
really real!
and even she is just a reflection of reality
she
is not reality itself
so don't get stressed out about it
Loudon Blues #119
my
feet are floating two inches off the ground
cartoon hearts are
cascading from the crown of my skull
my eyes are dilated
my
skin is flushed
my heartbeat is speeding up
my eyes are
open wide
my mouth is open wide
my legs are open
wide
everything is open wide
open wide enough for
everything to go in
and open wide enough for everything to come
out
there is no good reason for this
but it still feels
good
Loudon Blues #139
it
sucks being stuck in this traffic jam
but it could be worse
I
could be squashed under 110 stories of rubble
I could be a
charred corpse
I could be a few fragments of myself
in a
plastic bag
I could be a handful of dust
or I could be
nothing at all
being stuck in this traffic jam is a
blessing
it is the greatest blessing I have ever been given
it
is the greatest blessing any being anywhere will ever be given
I
am very grateful
to be stuck in this traffic jam!
Loudon Blues #154
he
says he can read you like a book
but a woman is a book
written
in 8-point type
with new chapters written every month
and with
old chapters being constantly revised
much of the book is
written in a foreign language
and the illustrations are pretty
but
don't always go with the text
most divorces happen
because
the husband fails
to keep up with his reading
Loudon Blues
#200
"tay-yuntz!
its gonna get
tay-yuntz!"
that's what Darrell Waltrip said
about 10 laps
before the end
of the Daytona 500
it was the Sunday after
Valentines Day
2001
DW said this again later
when
things got even more tense
the white flag was waved
to signal
one lap to go
"tay-yuntz!
like I said before,
now it's
really gonna get tay-yuntz!"
he said (or words to that
effect)
Michael Waltrip, Darrell's brother, in the blue 15
car, was in first place!
Dale Earnhardt Jr., in the red 8 car, was
in second place!
Dale Earnhardt Sr., in the black 3 car, was in
third place!
Dale Senior
was not strong enough to catch his
son
but he was strong enough to block the cars that were behind
him
it looked like it was going to be a storybook ending
and
was a storybook ending, but not from a happy storybook
between
Turns 3 and 4
the black Goodwrench Chevy got loose and hit the
wall
he didn't spin, he didn't roll over,
he didn't even smoke
his tires
Dale Earnhardt simply hit the wall
I thought this
is the worst thing that would happen all year
but it wasn't
Excerpts from "Loudon Blues"
Copyright ©
2005 Timothy Horrigan
For more info, contact:
Timothy
Horrigan
7A Faculty Road
Durham, NH 03824
USA
ph:
1-603-868-3342
email: Timothy.Horrigan@alumni.USC.edu
I am not sure what to do with these poems. For one thing, they document a period of my life when I was totally wrong about just about everything. I spent a lot of energy struggling with my ex-friend's husband — noone was shot, noone's house got burned down, but it was still scary and unnecessarily risky. I feel even wronger after accidentally discovering that their daughter contributed a piece to a Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book (not the original, a later volume.) When I scored tests for Measured Progress, I dreaded essays by kids who wrote about the Chicken Soup books, because they never had anything to say. But my ex-friend's daughter had a lot to say — especially about her father. She wrote a haunting little essay (which looks to me like it started out as a satire of student essays, but it ended up being very moving) — and at one point she says:
My dad tells me that fighting people are sly snakes, and he warns me to stay away from them. He says that when a man is in the company of snakes, sooner or later he will get poison spit in his eye.
Before I can finish Loudon Blues, I think I should wait a little while longer to make sure that the poison has been washed out of everyone's eyes.— well, out of my own eyes, at least.