This Site 1s Ur Cureal! We Cure All Deseasess!

Copyright © 2008 Timothy Horrigan

There are some email addresses shown on my site. The presence of email addresses on my own site does not mean that I am granting you permission to spam those addresses. And my site links to other sites which may have email addresses on them as well. The other sites are not under my control: the fact that my site links to someone else's site does not mean that I am granting you permission to send spam to the email addresses on that site.

The fact that my personal email address is displayed on a public web page does NOT necessarily constitute permission for you or any of your marketing partners to send me spams (or even unsolicited commercial emails which for some obscure reason cannot legally be considered spam.) Some of the addresses on my site may be "honeypots" deliberately placed to lure spammers.

I have had email access literally since the first President Bush was in office. I have been getting spam for almost 20 years now. I have a pretty good sense of what spam looks like. Most of the time, I can spot a spam just by looking at the subject line. If I actually was interested in whatever it is (if anything) you have to offer, I probably would have responded positively to someone else's identical spam several years ago.

Please note that I am NOT interested in receiving messages about amazing money-making schemes (pyramid or otherwise), about how to change the size of any body parts, or about opportunities to refinance my mortgage (not even my nonexistent Korean mortgage.) I am, by the way, firmly convinced that the word "mortgage" has two letter g's in it, located on either side of the letter a. I will not under any circumstances do business with a lender who offers me a "mortage"! I am also firmly convinced that "pharmacy" has exactly one c and one y. And I am also convinced that the possessive second person pronoun is "your" rather than "you." (So for example, I think that "we can refinance you mortage" is incorrect English whereas "we can refinance your mortgage" is correct.)

I am NOT willing to pretend to be a relative of an American expatriate who recently died in your country (or in you country, for that matter) without leaving a will. (Not only that, if one of your company's expatriate employees gets killed, and you have no idea how to find his or her next of kin, I think you should contact the embassy in your country: embassies' consular staffers are pretty good at tracking relatives down.)

I always wear a cheap Casio or Timex digital watch, and I am NOT interested in buying one of your replica Rolex watches. And even $75.00 is more than I want to pay for a watch, even if it is Italian crafted.

I am not an original equipment manufacturer. Hence I am unlikely to need "OEM" software. And I will not under any circumstances buy "0EM" software with a zero where the letter "O" should go. In fact I will not buy "O3M" or "03M" software either.

None of the content on this site should be construed as an application for a loan of any type, nor as an expression of interest in purchasing prescription or non-prescription medications.

Also, please note that (as of November 2008) I do NOT live in Brasil, I do NOT live in Argentina, I do NOT live in Korea and I do NOT know how to read Portugese or Korean. I would like to learn Korean someday, but even if I do learn Korean, I am NOT going to want to get 40 messages a day about whatever the heck it is that those spams are about. I am a natural born US citizen, so there is no need for me to enter the Green Card Lottery.

I am unlikely to claim any lottery prize unless I actually remember entering the lottery in question. If you sincerely believe that I have in fact won your lottery, please just mail me a check for my net winnings (in US dollars on a US bank, please!) and leave it at that.

My sexual functioning is pretty good, so I do not need Cialis soft tabs, and if I do have problems in that area I will consult a local physician or therapist.

I am NOT related to Chung Timothy, (Mr.), who allegedly died in a plane crash without leaving a WILL.

I never respond positively to emails sent from servers in China or Korea, unless they advertise products or services which are unique to the country they come from— and probably not even then.

There are a few Spanish words on this site. And they speak Spanish in Argentina. That does not mean that it is worthwhile to send me Argentinian spams.

Although my spelling is by no means perfect, I refuse to respond positively to emails with more than a few very minor spelling errors. I belong to SpamCop.net, and I forward them a large percentage of my incoming spams (as well as any spam-like messages which cannot legally be considered spam.)

Email our Spiced Ham department <SpicedHam@TimothyHorrigan.com> if you have any questions or need more information about my email policy.

If you are on your deathbed in an European hospital and need help setting up a charitable foundation in the US, please contact Nancy Sinatra!
If an American was killed in a ghastly traffic accident in your country and left no will, please contact Richard Cheney! (And thanks for trying so hard to locate his next of kin!)
If you need to verify my credit card and social security numbers, please contact Igor Stravinsky.
If you wish to send me a message written in the Portugese language, please contact Pélé!
Do not send ANY messages of ANY type to: Mao Zedong!
And also not send ANY messages of ANY type to: John E. Oh!